Whistlepig Studios

Hello, and welcome back to the “I’m A Freak” show. Today our topic is weird OCD “tics” that I deal with.

Here’s some info from the International OCD Foundation:
“Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental health disorder that affects people of all ages and walks of life, and occurs when a person gets caught in a cycle of obsessions and compulsions. Obsessions are unwanted, intrusive thoughts, images, or urges that trigger intensely distressing feelings.”
OCD is also considered an anxiety disorder, although it is different from social anxiety or panic attacks. Yeah, OCD just generally sucks.

1. Lightswitches

Every time I flip a lightswitch, I have to rub my finger (preferably my thumb) over the little screw underneath. If I don’t, I can not walk away. Trust me, I’ve tried. It bothers me until I come back and touch it. This one is mostly just bad because I’ve painted most of my lightswitches and this is slowly wearing down the paint.

2. The “G”

Every minute or so, I have to click my tongue on the roof of my mouth. It makes a “G” sound, like I’m trying to say “go”. It triggers my brain thing to start an internal scenario, where I run over possibilities in my head. It’s very annoying, but I can’t make it stop. I will contemplate how a fictional conversation would go, what would happen if my friends walked in the room, etc. That’s one reason I’m presentably dressed at all times. About every 60 seconds my brain says, “What if someone is watching you? What if someone were to walk in the room right now?” I don’t like clicking my tongue but it’s the only way to make the tic go away.

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3. Tapping

Oh. My. Gosh. This one annoys the begeepers out of me. I hate it so much. If my fingernail taps something, and it reminds me of the beat of a song, I am mentally obligated to finish tapping out at least that lyric. Most of the time the song will get stuck in my head for the rest of the day. Or maybe the sound of the space bar on my computer gets a little too familiar, and suddenly I find myself forced to hit it every 10 seconds. This “tic” gets especially bad when I’m stressed or taking a test. It’s awful.

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4. Washing my hands

I wash my hands so many times a day, it’s a wonder that they don’t look 1,000 years old. Every time I touch something that has been in contact with my pets? Hands washed. Every time I touch my shoes? Hands washed. Every time I get food on me? Hands washed. Do paper crafts? Hands washed. Touch my brother? Hands washed. Go outside? Hands washed when I return. Been too long since I washed my hands? Hands washed. It’s not that I’m a germophobe, I’m just OCD.

5. Typing

I get sticky fingers when it comes to computer keys. I don’t know why. My brain will just randomly say, “Let’s press Q five times without reason.” I also have a typing rhythm and stepping outside of it is a big no-no. Sometimes I even bob my head a little to insure that I stay on beat. It’s the weirdest freaking thing, and I don’t know why this happens.

6. Screens

I get really picky about my phone screen. If my brother or my little cousins touch it, I have to wipe it down with a damp paper towel or cleaning spray. Again, not a germophobe. Just weird. I also can’t see any specs of dust on my phone or computer or my brain. FREAKS. OUT. It’s so stupid. It’s also a direct insult to me if my screen times out and goes black. I cannot stand it. Either I have to manually shut it off, or I have to touch something so it wakes up again. If it goes off without my permission, I will literally turn it back on just so I can turn it off myself. It’s so annoying but it bothers the crap out of me.

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7. Spaces

There are some words that I am nearly incapable of putting spaces between. Some of those words are: lightswitch, lipgloss, chapstick, etc. They should be spelled light-switch, lip-gloss, and chap-stick. But I simply CAN’T. Sorry.

8. Art

Ew.. I hate this. Everything that I do has to be perfectly symmetrical. That’s why I often draw faces head-on; it’s easier to make everything equal. But in reality, nothing is perfectly symmetrical, so all I’m doing is making things look bad and unnatural. It’s the same when I draw stars in a galaxy. There’s lines of them, all sized up perfectly and in order. It’s so unrealistic. In the sky, there are clumps of stars and black spots and bright stars and dim stars. They’re everywhere, not in spaced-up lines. I’m still working on this one frequently.

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9. Directions

Every time I do anything, it has to be facing in the day’s direction. Sometimes it’s West, sometimes it’s East. If I’m moving my mouse around on my computer, it’s always spiraling to one direction. This one is hard to understand, so I won’t try to explain it.

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10. Fingerspelling

Ah. Fingerspelling. This isn’t an issue anymore, as I seem to have gotten over it or something. This is actually the first tic that got me labeled OCD. I would spell out words, phrases, sentences, or even sometimes whole paragraphs with my finger or in my brain. Not writing them on paper or anything, just in the air. Most of the time I did it with my hand slack beside me, so it wasn’t very noticeable. But it grew to be a very prominent problem for quite a while. Then it became just excerpts from things I’d read, small things that people said, etc. Over time, it slowly stopped happening.

11. Stuff on my face

UHG. This one is more claustrophobia than OCD, but I still count it. I can’t stand stuff on my face, even makeup. I get anxious when the hairdresser blows hair in my face. I am wide awake if I try to sleep with a blanket over my head. Even sometimes wearing a hat bothers me. The only makeup I can handle wearing regularly is mascara, and sometimes I use eye shadow. Lipgloss and chapstick are manageable as well. I hate this problem, because now I constantly look like a potato and I can’t do anything about it. But luckily, this doesn’t seem to include face masks. I actually don’t mind them that much. As pathetic as it sounds, I like not having to fake smile at everyone. And because my head is so tiny, most fabric masks are baggy on me, so I can breathe easily and I don’t feel that smothered.

12. Numbers and colors

If I’m going to do anything involving numbers, I automatically gravitate to 0, 3, 7, 10, 17, 46, or 96. I don’t know why, but I do. If I eat skittles? I will eat them in 3s, 7s, 10s, or 17s. I sort them by color and put them in piles. Then I eat the smallest pile, then the second-smallest pile, etc. working my way up to the biggest pile. It’s the same when I eat Hershey kisses, Smarties, or generally any candy at all. If I’m pouring paint on a pallet, I have to pour the colors according to their position on the rainbow wheel, even if I’m not using all of the colors. For example: if I’m using green, yellow, purple and blue? Yep. It’s going to be yellow, green, blue, then purple. Because that’s their proper order. I don’t really know why I do this, but as an artist, being that particular about colors is really irritating.

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13. Nose twitching

This one is pretty recent, actually. I used to twitch my nose when I had a secret or when I was angry but decided to keep quiet. It’s what I did when I left things unsaid. But now it’s just a daily thing that happens for seemingly no reason.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xuGXbsodqko

14. Popping

*Sighs*. Popping fingers is my constant companion. Sometimes I pop because they feel tight, sometimes I pop because I’m feeling anxious, sometimes I pop because it’s been too long since the last pop. Here’s how I do it: I pop the four fingers on my left hand, all together or separately, then I pop my left thumb forwards and then backwards. Then I pop all four fingers on my right hand, all together or separately, before popping my right thumb forwards and then backwards. Next I pop my left wrist down, then up. After that I pop my right wrist down, then up. Sometimes I also pop my shoulders, back, knees, legs, and toes, but not in any specific order and I don’t do that all the time. I do pop my toes frequently though. My jaw used to pop as well, but that was very painful and accidental. Some days I couldn’t eat because of it, actually. Popping things doesn’t usually hurt for me, unless it’s early in the morning when I first wake up. I’ve popped my neck occasionally, but the sound in my head makes me cringe, so I don’t do it often. When others pop, it doesn’t bother me at all. This is definately my most common OCD tic, and happens many times throughout each day. Half the time I don’t even realize that I’m doing it.

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So, yeah. There’s my OCD freak self out in the open. I’ve been OCD since I was… maybe ten? Eleven? I don’t remember. It’s been a long time. Fortunately, my OCD doesn’t interfere too much with my everyday life, so I’m able to live like a somewhat normal black sheep creature person thing. 🙂

Do you have OCD? What are some things that make you tic? Feel free to share them in the comments, I’d love to know.

♡, Shortie