Whistlepig Studios

Hello! Today’s topic is a little different than some others I’ve covered recently. As an introvert, it can be very hard to talk to people. Talking through writing is easier for me. So, here’s my thoughts about mental breakdowns from an introverted point of view.

A lot of people believe two stereotypes about introverts. They think we are either: unfeeling robots who hate human interaction and prefer to live in the quiet solitude of our own mind-palace, constantly spitting on extroverts and their socializing skills. OR we’re these fragile, emotional little bunnies that need to be taught how to live in the big dangerous world; and we’re incapable of talking to people simply because we’re too scared.
For the most part, neither of these are true. There are some of those, I’m sure, but that’s an individual personality thing. Not an introvert thing.

Introverts are “normal” people; just like everyone else. We feel, we breathe, we function. We’re just a little different from extroverts and ambiverts.
Introverts draw energy from being alone. Solitude helps us recharge our batteries and gives us time to process what we’ve experienced. Generally speaking, introverts are quieter in social settings, which lets them observe more and take many things in. But we can only absorb so much before we need to go away and process it.
Here, let’s put it in computer terms: Our storage is limited. We have to take time out to go through our files, mark some as important, trash others, and sync all the leftover data to the cloud.
We don’t dismiss things as easily as others, and our brains can only handle so much.

But… what happens if we don’t get that time alone?

I can’t speak for all introverts, but I know personally that when I go too long without alone time, I break down.

Typically when a breakdown is pressing, I’ve been taking on too much and spending too little time with God. The particular one I’m in now is due to the fact that I’ve gotten barely any quality sleep (without nightmares or waking up several times during the night), I stayed up late almost every day this week to finish school or work on other projects, my schedule has been very busy and I’ve barely slowed down at all, I’ve eaten some things that always seem to trigger my anxiety, it’s nearly Christmas time (which means it’s almost one year since two of my mice died), I haven’t gotten to exercise much, I barely get to think properly, and I haven’t spent enough time with God.
Other things that might trigger a breakdown are:
Specific PTSD triggering environments, crowds, mental health complications, specific people, some times of the month or year (also usually due to traumatic events in the past), troubling media, peer/social pressure, certain music, or even just small personal triggers.

Basically, it feels like the emotions and thoughts have built up so much that they’re physically crushing me.

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What does a breakdown look like?

Again, I can only answer with my own experiences. Not all introverts are the same, and neither are their breakdowns.

But here’s what mine typically look like:
I get physically sick (habit coughing, upset stomach, nausea, hot flashes, tight joints, sore body, sensitive and flushed skin.), I get very, very insecure (don’t think I’m pretty, funny, or worth spending time with. I feel like I poison everyone around me.), I have trouble eating (will either eat very little or just skip meals completely, often only feeding myself if I’m going out and don’t want my tummy to grumble.), I get hysterically anxious (don’t want to see anyone because I feel like I ruin everything. Don’t want to do anything because I feel useless. Don’t want to talk, chill, move, or breathe. I just feel like a waste of flesh and air.), I start second-guessing my relationships and pushing away from everyone, because all of a sudden something just feels wrong. I’ll ignore texts, leave questions unanswered, and deny phone calls. (Sometimes I’ll even think, “maybe it’s better if I just cut off this person now, and save everyone from future pain.” I’ve nearly ended all my relationships this way.) Certain types of objects, like sharp legos, rubber bands, or even knives might look a little friendlier. I get shaky, quaky, and break-y. I’m very emotional and often look like a complete wreck. I have little to no energy, but usually try to make myself do things anyway because I feel like I have to. Then I’ll just sit on the floor and cry because I want to have the energy like everyone else, but I just don’t.

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How do I stop a breakdown?

Ah. Well… There’s only a few ways I know how to work through a breakdown. (And sometimes you just have to let it run it’s course; it will get better, just be patient.)
1, Take a quick break and try to let it pass.
This option sucks, because it makes me slow down. I often try to just keep moving, but that’s what’s ripping me up. If I take a small chunk of time and just stop everything, go to my room, spend a bit of time with my pets, read a few chapters, or whatever – it helps. I’m not always 100% back to normal after, but it gets me back on the right path.
2, Swim, dance, run, sing, rap, cry, paint, or sleep it off.
These options aren’t all that could help, it’s just what works for me. I have a hard time letting go of things, but this helps the process. If I’m dealing with spiritual or mental grief, it’s helpful to exhaust myself into letting it go. Sometimes I have to push the thoughts away until they stop coming back. Sometimes I have to channel the upsetting energy into something that will help me release it. I often refer to dance, since I no longer have access to swimming. I am not a graceful dancer, and that proves obvious by the many, many bruises and scars that are hidden all over me. I probably look like a headless chicken or a very confused, frantic monkey. But it helps me somehow.
3, Talk it over.
Sometimes talking to a counselor or therapist is very useful for me. It gives me a chance to dismiss my thoughts without letting them take over. I have quite overwhelming emotions at times, and it’s difficult to leave them be. But when I am able to, talking things over can help. Sometimes.
4, Honestly, the best thing I can recommend is simply a good dose of solitude. It can be very grounding.
I will sometimes dedicate an entire day to this if I can. I like to take a big selection of self-care plans and put them all together. So: Wake up. Do devotions. Get out of bed, put my hair in a bun, and get a good solid breakfast. Then wash my face and put on a skincare mask. Read, take off the mask, and read some more. Maybe write a blog post or scroll on Pintrest for a while. Eat a yummy lunch if I’m hungry. Watch a lighthearted movie, maybe sketch or paint some. Take a walk with my camera around the neighborhood or sometimes in the woods, especially if it’s fall. Then, when it comes late afternoon, and the sun will set soon, I like to build a blanket fort. I’ll set up a sequestered panoply, taking a long time to get everything feeling perfect. I will then take a very warm/boiling hot bath and take care of my skin. I’ll shave, use exfoliators, special lotions, etc. to help me feel clean and extra refreshed. I sometimes change up my shampoo or conditioner, because sometimes simple changes will make my hair really soft and smooth. I like to use special products in my hair. I also clean/paint my nails if I feel like it. Then I like wearing fresh-out-of-the-laundry clothes (or Drummer Boy’s hoodie, which literally smells like pure heaven. But I only do that if I won’t be around food). I sometimes change out my earrings or just take them out for a bit to let my ears breathe. Then I spend the night in the blanket/pillow fort, watching movies or reading while eating snacks (if I’m hungry) and trying to drink lots of water. (Plus a hot chocolate or two with peeps instead of regular marshmallows. Sometimes I’ll even drink juice out of wine glasses because it gives the space a totally different feel and look. (Pro tip: mix cranberry juice with Clear American sparkling water to make an alcohol-free delicious cocktail. It is sooo good…)) Anyway, self care is more than making yourself presentable; it’s also doing things that make you happy and content. For some reason these are just some of those curios for me. I also try to always keep soft music in the background and the lights dimmed.
I don’t know why, but that’s just what works for me. I hardly ever get a whole day to do this, but when I do… it’s like hitting the reset button. I feel infinitely better the next day.

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What can you do to help an introvert who’s breaking down, or is about to?

Five things.
#1, don’t assume. Just because an introvert (or anyone) is going through something hard doesn’t mean that they are breaking down. Although those two things are often linked, they are not the same. A person can experience any number of the issues above, and not necessarily be breaking down. So don’t assume they need help or guidance or care.
#2, ASK!! If an introvert is having a breakdown, most likely the best thing you can do is give them space. Even if you are very close to them, people and stress and the feeling of being overwhelmed is what got them here in the first place. But make sure to ask. Sometimes walking the dog, bringing them food, or going to the library to get a book for them is just what they need. But sometimes they just need to shut themselves in a room alone for a little while. It depends on the person, day, circumstance, and breakdown. Everyone is different, and so are all breakdowns. So just ask what you can do.
#3, if you don’t want to get involved, simply stay away. You will be of no help if you are complaining or faking care. Don’t offer help if you don’t want to give it.
#4, don’t guilt us or accuse us of seeking attention. Breaking down is not our choice. It is not something we do for fun. Oftentimes we cannot control it at all. You might get hurt if you do not leave us alone; we need that time, and your pressure will not be received well. If you are an extrovert, just try to be patient. We will come back to you, but we need you to wait outside the door for a bit. Could be moments, could be days. We just need that space. And please, don’t try to turn us into an extrovert. It will end in a catastrophe.
#5, don’t push us away all the time because you think it’s what we want. If we need space, we will tell you or it will become blatantly obvious. If you just push us away constantly for no reason, the relationship will probably end. Introverts are typically too smart to wast time on a relationship where they feel unloved or unwanted. This will give them that impression, even if it isn’t what you intend.

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Thanks for reading! I know it’s been a long post, and not everyone will relate to it. So for that I’m sorry. But due to recent affairs in my life, I felt the need to share. If you or someone you know suffers from frequent breakdowns, please try to find the cause. There’s no need to suffer this mess if you can prevent it. So go out and share this knowledge, and maybe the world will start to transform into a slightly less-broken place to live. We need each other. Introvert and extrovert, short and tall, skinny and stocky, rich and poor, female and male (and in-between?), all the colors, all the nationalities, all the sexualities, all the people. We need each other. (But not all the time.) So treat your neighbor with kindness, not only because he could be the one who saves your life. Maybe you’re the one saving his. You just never know. So be kind, always.

♡, Shortie